Are You Really Listening to Those You Care About?

  • Hearing emotion: Emotion is usually behind all words and can be powerful, but we really have to listen sometimes to hear what emotion it is. For example, if someone says, “This is the 3rd time my boyfriend worked late and missed our dinner,” we can hear that the emotions behind that are probably frustration, loneliness, anger, sadness, etc. This person isn’t saying how they feel, yet we can still hear it behind the words, their tone, and their facial expression.
  • Hearing what’s behind the words: This is us listening for hopes, desires, dreams, fears, etc. that aren’t directly being said. For example, if someone says, “I just love listening to new music. I wish I could be around music all the time,” behind the words could be that they really want to pursue a career in music. Maybe they know they want to do this or perhaps they are saying this and not conscious that music could be a possible career for them. You may respond to this with, “You love being around music. I wonder if you could take your HR job and work for a record label so you’d be around music more, what do you think about that?”
  • Hearing what’s needed: If a mom of 4 is saying to you, “Gosh, I’m so exhausted. I can’t seem to remember anything these days” you hear that she is tired, and what she needs is probably sleep. If your boss sends you a reminder that your deadline is in 3 days, she’s telling you that what’s needed is extra time and effort to get your work completed on time. The mom isn’t saying, “I need sleep,” and the boss isn’t saying, “you’re going to have to work late the next couple of nights” yet you are able to hear what is needed through what they are saying.

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Amy Nolan

Amy Nolan

Life & Executive Business Coach, Therapist, and Entrepreneur who helps you design the life you want.☀️